Sunday, July 17, 2011

A Year from Now...

I am unhappy with my “cable provider.” There! I said it, I’m glad I said it and I meant it. I have felt such depths of anger and frustration with that corporation, to which I pay an excessive amount of money, that I really can’t think of words to adequately express my rage. They have treated me with ignorance, apathy and (I suspect) contempt. How dare they!
In the midst of my temper tantrum, I suddenly realized that I am actually grateful to my “cable provider.” I’m grateful because I realized that I have the time and energy to waste on something so petty and definitely unimportant to the “big picture” as my TV programs and my internet access.
I am sitting in a chair, my chair, in front of my computer, in my own house (okay, it BELONGS to a bank, but my name is on the mortgage)! I am enjoying a weekend; two days off from the job which I usually enjoy doing. I finished mowing my lawn, playing with my dog and poured a beer from my refrigerator. My life is GOOD!
I am a Social Worker with the leading Hospice agency in this area. I work with people who are dying. I work with their family members to help them understand and accept this basic truth: we will all die. It isn’t anything we can cure, prevent or stop and it doesn’t have to be something we fear. However, many people ARE afraid. I get to help my patients by providing information, comfort, and support. I really like my work… Okay, most days, I really like my work.
There are several things I don’t like about my house. It was built in the 1970’s as part of a development and I suspect that there are portions of it that haven’t been improved or replaced since then. But, it has been my home since 1992. My kids consider it their “home,” even though they have traveled around the world and are creating their own, fantastic lives. My wife moved into this house to be with me and we were able to help her mother, at the end of her life, by bringing her into this house to be with us. My neighbor and his wife lost their jobs and lost their home. It was a very sad and painful process and I’m sure that I don’t even know “the half of it.” I didn’t really get to know them all that well. Now, I won’t have the chance. I know other people who have lost their homes and are now living with family. I may not like the carpet, the inadequate kitchen cabinets or the ancient and failing stove, but I am truly fortunate to live in this house…my home.
So, a year from now, I presume that “cable company” will have treated me better or I will have decided to pay my money to someone else. A year from now, I seriously doubt that I will even remember the strong emotions I have felt connected to the “treatment” I have received.
I hope that a year from now, I will remember how fortunate, how blessed I am.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Take a Chance…


As I stood in a long, cold line to buy tickets for last week’s 350-plus million-dollar lottery, I was thinking about why we participate willingly…nay, eagerly, in something that has such pitifully poor odds of success.
I mean, this isn’t an uncommon thing… (Both my, “thinking,” and my purchasing lottery tickets.) It was just that there were so many people doing it that day, now that the payoff seems astronomical.
I realized the ONE thing that the purchasing of a lottery ticket does, that very few things can offer: Between the time that you buy your ticket and the time the last ball has been called, you ARE a millionaire.  You’re a winner! You have won the big prize… the ticket to easy street… all your fantasies are waiting to be lived! It’s almost like “Schrodinger’s cat;” as long as you don’t know that the numbers don’t match, you are as much a winner as any of the other millions of hopeful, desperate and mostly clueless players. How many things in life can offer you that type of elation?
 I listened to folks talking about what they’d “do first” if they won. It was a singular type of catharsis, where complete strangers could speak freely about their hopes… some fears…and laugh about the whole process.
Guess what? I wasn’t one of the two winners for that lottery. I seriously doubt that millions of Americans were crushed, or even surprised, when they didn’t win. I’m actually pretty sure that the most surprised people where the ticket holders from Idaho and Washington. Can you imagine that conversation?
“Seriously? You’re kidding, right? No Way! Come on… quit kidding around! OH MY GOD!!!!!” 
I just hope that none of them were prone to anxiety or heart problems. Now THAT would truly suck; win the lottery and die from the shock. Hey, that could be a great motivational slogan for exercise: “When you finally win that big prize, you want to be healthy enough to take the shock, don’t you?”
Oh well, like I said, I didn’t win…that time. This week’s lottery is “only” 32-million dollars. I suppose I could muster up a little excitement for that. After all… I did buy a ticket…